when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
