Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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