I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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