you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize