I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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