Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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