We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
