Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
