they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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