Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
