she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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