So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
