Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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