yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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