My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
