her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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