I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize