She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
