Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
