why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
