I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
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i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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