I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
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It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
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So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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