Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
