He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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