Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
