my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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