Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
