made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
