New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
