is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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