Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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