I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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