She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
