i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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