You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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