there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
