How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
