Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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