on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
