Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I have demons in me.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
