dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
