i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
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the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
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Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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