shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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