how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
