"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize