Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
