I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
