so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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