hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
im having a threesome with these popsicles
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
