Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
