Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
