Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You dont lie about slip and slides
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
