I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
