I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
