He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
