just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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